My copy of Terry Pratchett's final novel, The Shepherd's Crown, arrived on the same day as my copy of the new Chris Ryan military thriller, Hellfire. I still have not read either, and not simply because of the size of my book pile or the timescale demands of books I have been given to review. Hellfire will require me to adopt a mindset which is at odds with the way I feel at the moment.
I knew that I would find it hard to motivate myself to read the new TP, however much I love his books and the magnificent Discworld he created for our enjoyment, and I knew exactly why. To get to the last page of the last book he ever wrote will be an acknowledgement of the fact that part of my life has changed irrevocably.
No longer will I be scanning the internet to see what his new book will be called, or when it will be published, or wondering which of the main characters it will revolve around. Would it be Rincewind, Tiffany Aching, the Witches, Sam Vimes or the Patrician? What new technology will be inflicted on Discworld? And once I get to the last page, I am immediately wondering what the next book will be about....
And there's the rub. There will be no "next" book :-(
That is why I have looked at it, greatly admired the cover, read the blurb on the back, opened a page at random and read a single sentence - before carefully closing the book, stroking the cover, smiling wistfully and putting it on the top of my "To Read" heap, where I can see it each time I walk through the dining room to the kitchen.
Looking, rather than reading.
I'm not ready to close that chapter of my life just yet.