Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Half An Hour

I have half an hour to "fill" before going to pick DD4 up from school.....so here is some black humour I just produced.

It is in no way altered or polished, and may well undergo extensive editing and revision before I am happy with it, but I just thought you might like to see something that has come straight from my fingers, grammatical and spelling mistakes included :-)


She'd arrived early, determined to get a good seat, and preferably as far away from the biting draught that whistled through the open doors of the building, through which the crowds were currently pouring. It had been bad enough walking for forty minutes in the bitter cold; she had no desire to feel the cold air until it was time to start the long walk home again.

She sat in the vast, echoing chapel, painted stark white and fitted with the original wooden box pews, watching as parents and friends filed in - or in some cases, galloped in - for the carol concert, jostling for the best seats. Best seats, of course, meaning only that they provided closest access for those wielding cameras and camcorders to record the event for posterity. Quite how many of the camera wielders took anything of the real meaning of the performance home in their hearts was difficult to judge, and, in any case, as she sternly reminded herslef, none of her business. She knew she was too judgemental by far.

The reality, of course, was that most of the dvds created of the concert would be watched once then languish on the top shelf of people's bookcases and cupboards - too "precious" to be thrown away because they contained images of that family's beloved children, yet too "boring" to bear repeated watching. Unless , of course, your particular child had a special starring role, in which case, every visitor for the next month was likely to be forcibly sat down on the sofa with a glass of sherry and compelled to watch and make appropriately admiring comments about your child prodigy. :-)

Each pew contained a few copies of a modern language "inclusive" Bible, and on the walls were a few crafted banners. For a denomination which eschewed idolatry of any sort, with not even a plain cross hanging on the walls, there were banners instead, though all but one were abstract in design or created so that the biblical figures represented were viewed from the back or a half angle, thus obliviating the need for - gasp - faces. Faces which might, of course, lend themselves to idolatry. Backs of head obviously did not carry the same danger.

Many of the families actually belonged to the denomination at whose building the carol concert was being held, and could be seen clutching their own cameras so they could indulge in their own version of idolatry and capture images of their children.

They made strange bedfellows, she mused, modern technology and  heresy..................
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