Thursday, December 24, 2009

Pondering

...on whether I might abandon all attempts at Christmas cheer and just re-run Christmas properly according to the Old Calendar in January.

Suffice it to say that I am majorly tired, fed up and grumpy.

I have no desire even to open my mouth to pray this evening. I will pray my psalter kathisma as promised, however, remembering those who have asked me for prayers, and trust to God to have mercy upon my hard and rebellious heart.

I am ticked off that we will not be able to make it to Liturgy and meet up with my Church family.

I am missing my brother so much.

I am fed up with the nonsense from his estranged widow which is causing grief to my mother, myself , our  whole family and to all my brother's friends and colleagues as well. I cannot say more than that publically, but it has taken on nightmare proprtions and all I want to do is carry out my brother's last wishes.

Sigh.

Not one of my better days.  God grant that tomorrow will bring me peace, and grace to make the very best of the Day.
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5 comments:

mamajuliana said...

Saying a prayer for you...hoping things get better. This is my first Christmas without my father.

Blessed Nativity...now and in January

DebD said...

It's okay. We're your sisters in Christ and we'll pray for you when you can't.

DebD said...

Oh, I meant to say - I'm not making it to liturgy either. I'm rather bummed, but it is a chance to honor my husband with a simple gift by going to church with him as a family.

Anastasia Theodoridis said...

I know how you feel. I am delighted that all our Christmas plans have collapsed. My brother-in-law and his girls can't get here because of bad driving conditions; my mother and brother don't want to come if the others don't, and I'm tired, tired, tired, and have come down with a cold and don't want to do anything that requires me to be out of bed.

I did drag myself with my husband to the Divine Liturgy tonight (Christmas eve instead of Christmas morning) and am glad of that, in retrospect. Even went to a feast afterwards at friends' home. But still, I'm glad we left early and are going to BED.

Merry Christmas! And a special prayer for you.

elizabeth said...

My dear Elizabeth,

Lord's mercy be upon us! I was not able to go to Christmas Liturgy (I am lucky that my church in Ottawa will have it on the 7th) at the church I was chrismated in 5 years ago. So I understand how upsetting this feels.

Christmas can be such a hard time of year, esp. for those who recently lost a brother or other family member. My love and prayers. Sending you a Christmas hug accross the many miles.

Thank God that the Church and all the Saints will pray for us when we are weak and exhausted.

Again my love and small prayers for you this Christmas.