Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Doldrums

Everyone else seems to be producing amazing deep ponderings about the Faith during this Great Lent, and I just feel - flat.

I am struggling to keep praying but I am finding this Lent tough going. I love the Prayer of St Ephrem, which speaks to me so eloquently at present and sums up all that is wrong with my state of soul.

Last week I attended the funeral of someone I have known for 40 years, and who was indeed only one day older than me. I simply could not blog about it then as it was just too raw.

The huge church was packed, and she had a very high-church Anglican "send-off" , complete with holy water sprinkling the coffin, incense, the bell tolling as the coffin was carried out of the Church.

She battled her whole life against major health problems, and was in the end killed by the very drugs she needed to take to stay alive. I watched her elderly parents grieve, and wondered how on earth you cope with a loss of that magnitude.....

It brought me up short and made me realise once again that life is so transitory - too short and unpredictable to waste on being angry, or bearing grudges, or being resentful, or any of the thousand other sins which I commit on a daily basis. I have no excuse for any of it.

Lord have mercy upon Elizabeth and her family. May her Memory be Eternal.

I look forward to Holy Week and Pascha.
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5 comments:

Laura said...

I am sorry for your loss. May her memory be eternal!

THis has not been the greatest Lent for me either. Starting it with minor surgery probably didn't help!

I'll pray for you...

DebD said...

This Lent has been quite different than last lent. A struggle of a different sort.

May Elizabeth's memory be eternal.

Mimi said...

May Elizabeth's Memory be Eternal.

Prayers and hugs to you - Lent is hard, and it shakes us down to our very soul.

Meg said...

As others have written, may her memory be eternal. It sounds like she had quite a struggle all her life.

As for Lent - my priest tells me that one of the points of Lent is to come face to face with our shortcomings. In other words, it's *supposed* to be difficult. I'm with you on the subject of the Amazing Deep Ponderings that elude me, but the struggle - I am completely in tune with that. Sigh.

Dave said...

Lent is usually a write-off for me. Probably something to do with my inability to fast.

May the memory of your friend be eternal.