Friday, October 28, 2005

Reality Check

The way complacency and a certain degree of pride can sneak up on you without you realising it never fails to amaze and scare me.
I should be used to it by now, these two being my besetting sins, but I was caught unawares bigtime this week.

Things have been ticking along quite well, with nothing major on the sin front , but the number of nasty little sins was starting to rocket quietly, but still under the Red Alert- Warning !! sign of my internal confession-needed meter (TM)

Then...whump! The rug was pulled under my feet and I landed flat on my backside. My reasonably respectable efforts to maintain twice daily prayers each day just ran out of steam. Didn`t want to pray, couldn`t pray (or so it seemed) an for a few days, I just didn`t bother, except for when I learned of specific needs for my blog buddies. I could pray for others, but not for myself.......

Of course, none of this was my fault, you understand, (or at least according to the Screwtape type little demon prodding at me with his infernal pitchfork). Of course it was everybody else`s fault, and so started a brief but unpleasant cycle of niggling at everyone, and where others started to get narked in turn, till it got to the point where every time I opened my mouth, I could never say anything right and people were jumping down my throat, at even innocent comments, thereby increasing my sense of unfairness and "it`s not my fault !"

Oh dear.
Methinks the internal confession-meter is perilously close to reaching "DANGER ! - IMMINENT EXPLOSION- CONFESSION URGENTLY NEEDED !!! " level.

Reality Check...... doh, it is your fault ! No-one can make you be surly, arrogant, prideful, unpleasant, unkind, nagging or self-righteously priggish.
Oh no, dear Elizabeth, you choose to act that way, to sin and then retreat with hurt feelings just because other people then mirror back your appalling behaviour .

Time to examine, repent, apologise and confess .................
BTW, does acknowledging that I am the chief of sinners count as accurate representation or twisted pride ?

Elizabeth, the lazy, selfish, grumpy, angry, prideful sinner. (That`s just the short version, BTW!)

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Xenia Kathryn said...

I certainly can relate to this.

Good post, Elizbeth!!!

Ian said...

Great post.

I had a similar lesson last week.

Mimi said...

As I just typed on someone else's blog, God's 2x4 gets used on me a lot!

Good post, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth said...

I am glad it`s not just me.....I was starting to feel like the worst OC in the world...... !