I think it was inevitable that after yesterday`s revelation, that today should see some degree of despondency.
If I make such a poor showing of being a Christian, and my attempts are so feeble, is it worth bothering ?
Should I just throw in the towel and live my life like everyone else does ?
Ironically, when I most feel like this, I find deep in my heart the knowledge and certainty that I cannot turn my back on God, my Faith and the Orthodox Way of Life.
Now I have found the Pearl of Great Price, the Fount of Immortality, the True Faith, how can I turn away from it ? What is left to me if I turn away ?
Just dust and ashes, a meaningless existence where hedonism is the only path that makes sense when there is no certainty of an afterlife, of God, His Grace and His Mercy.
I have lived like that once.
I cannot do so again, it would destroy me.
Thanks be to God for His loving mercy and kindness to me, a sinner.
The only thing needful is for me to pick myself up each and every time I fall, to repent and try again to do better. Over and over again till my dying breath, trusting in God.
Easy to say, hard to do, but there simply is no other option....
Father Seraphim, pray for us all that God may grant us constancy and steadfastness to do His Will.