It was another lovely hot sunny day, and I was happy. Everything the garden was rosy...
After that, I found myself looking at the people I saw around me, and after a few minutes I was absolutely appalled to realise what negativity was going through my head.
- For goodness` sake, doesn`t she realise how bad smoking is for you ?
- Why on earth didn`t she brush her hair ? It looks such a mess !
- Those clothes don`t match
- I wouldn`t be seen dead wearing that.
- For pity`s sake, do you have to hog the whole pavement (sidewalk) ? Don`t you realise there are people trying to get past (meaning me)
Instead of seeing Christ in every person I saw, all I saw was my own belief in my own supposed superiority. I was ashamed of myself, but retribution wasn`t long in coming......
I saw myself in a mirror and laughed, for there I was, large as life, overweight, unfit, frumpy, no make-up, bags under my eyes, wrinkles and all.
I bet other people might have been tempted to think:-
- gosh, she could do with losing some weight
- why doesn`t she keep herself in better shape ?
- why can`t she be bothered to at least care for her skin and put moisturiser on?
- she really needs a haircut, how old is that dress?
I really struggle with my own negativity and judgementalism.
Some days I think there is no hope for me.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me, a sinner.